Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize