apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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