I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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