so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize