before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I could make wine with my vomit
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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