it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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