you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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