there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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