yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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