just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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