you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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