at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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