please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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