it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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