THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize