Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize