i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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