All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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