where am i from again
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
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i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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