You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize