you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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