4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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