he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize