ya dads aren't the best wingmen
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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