How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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