so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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