What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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