If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize