Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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