I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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