I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Watching her eat just hurts me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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