Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize