so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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