New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize