you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize