there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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