My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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