It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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