Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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