i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize