it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
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Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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