My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize