I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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