All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize