the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize