I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize