Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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