drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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