I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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