I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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